Professional Rapper (feat. Snoop Dogg) (Explicit)

Professional Rapper (专业说唱者) - Lil Dicky/Snoop Dogg (史努比狗狗)
Hello how can I help you
Hi my name's Dave Burd I have an appointment today
It's probably under Lil Dicky actually I'm a I'm a rapper so
OK and who are you here to see
Uh Snoop Dogg says here Snoop D O G G
Oh yeah he's right down the hall first door to your right
Give him a knock and he should be right with you
Thanks it's uh this door right here right
Mm hmm
Thank you
Grab a seat
Thanks I'm Dave very nice to meet
Dave what it do you can call me Dogg
Let me just check your sheet
No problem sir let me just say
I'm a big fan of the sh*t that y'all make
I can't lie I been thinking about this all day
All good there's a reason that we called Dave let me start with your background
Where you come from
Sure I was undergrad down there in Richmond
Before that
Oh you talking bout my hometown
Yeah
I was born out of Philly grew up in a little silly
Old town called Cheltenham
It was in the suburbs upper middle wealth around
So real sh*t you ain't never had to struggle for much
I wouldn't say it like that we just had a different kind of trap
Elaborate
Well I ain't never had a tool
But I had to be the man at school
Like I was doing sh*t I had to do so when I finished undergrad
I'm cool and I can get whatever job I wanted
But the job you wanted wasn't all that bumping
Yeah
And I saw it quick all the flaws
That be coming when you grow up like that
When you been racing them rats you ain't been making them raps
Boo hoo what a hardship
How you paid to get the rap sh*t started
Man my bar Mitzvah money
But don't diss me buddy
I wasn't one of them younguns up on the block who had nothing to lose
I must've wanted this a lot I had something to choose
Ha look at that I can say there's something to prove up in your a**
Yeah I guess
That's enough of the past what makes you want to do rap
Oh my god it's the best
B**ches let me draw up on their breasts
Literally I can reinvent myself
I get a forum to project myself
It's never boring every morning I wake up and try to best myself
I never got to be suppressed or stealthy to express myself
It's kinda healthy
Cool now let me put you through a couple hypotheticals
Sure
In a club and a couple niggas threaten you
Uh I wouldn't do sh*t
And I don't even get what that got to do with this
Shut the f**k up rap's like life
If you wanna do this then you won't get far acting like a little b**ch
Nah that's my niche
Don't get offended by this but that's the market y'all missed
That's the target I'll hit
And that's the heart of my pitch
I wanna do this whole thing different
What the f**k you mean you wanna do the whole thing different
Uh you know I I think like you know
Traditionally people have been doing the job
The same kind of way for a long time
But traditionally speaking this sh*t works right
Nah like I get that but I I just think that you know
You don't know if it could be working even better
And I think you should look at me as an opportunity to find that out
I don't mean any disrespect by that
I'm just saying I have a different background
Like a different perspective way of looking at things than your typical applicant
So what are your biggest strengths
Well my flow is crazy I can switch that amazing
For example I can be like ain't nobody f**king with Lil Dicky
When he get up on that sh*t and spit it sick and ridiculous
Ripping this sh*t like it's never been did and the rhythm is never predictable
Cause I can switch it deliver this sh*t in whatever cadence you b**ches prefer
Alright alright I get it
Top of that lyrically I'm pretty damn clever go
Got a long bottom b**ch call the hoe Neville whoa
And I blow it from the jump derrick rose knee oh
You can say I'm pretty smart how I know better
And y'all been winning like Pistorius it's no feat
Bro I can go on and on
I'm taking over and they mad like father in laws
OK enough of the punchline that ain't showing me you different than the other guys
Well I don't know if they can run it like that
But ain't nobody else doing funny type rap
What's that
Well I can tell a story about my morning
Watching boy meets world and jerking off to Topanga Lwrence
Like the 14 year old Topanga
Oh this sh*t like a joke to you
I don't get it
Nah it ain't like that
I just happen to be a nutty abundantly funny type of individual
Like as a guy
So when I get up on the mic I ain't finna just lie
Real recognize real right
Yeah I guess so what you tryna do
Five years from now tell me 'bout the dude
Well I don't care about the money
Like it's the respect that I'm wanting
Honestly I just want to be one of the greats
Where they gotta bring your boy up every debate
I don't wanna leave the game the same
In a nutshell what's your legacy
Well I wanna be the dude that came in and made the stand up rap
Put the random rap in demand like that for the people that was anti rap
Yet the fans of rap start to recognize that anti rap
Is ironically one of the real brands of rap left
That sh*t sound pretty damn complex
I guess I wanna be the best
I just wanna do it my way
And turn the whole game sideways
And show people you ain't gotta be resigned to the highway
You can make a path while these motherf**kers drive straight
I ain't mad at that
Well thanks man that's my plan of my attack
Just let me in and I'mma rap the plaques
And I ain't about to win them back to back
I'm about to win them like
It's back to back to back to back to back
Til I stop rapping
You ain't even sold a damn album yet
True
That's a lot of talk from a wily vet
Let alone a young rook ni**a
You misread me
Nah this ain't a book ni**a
Well that's one of my flaws I'm too competitive dawg
No you just f**king repetitive dawg
I get it you trying to be better than all
But you ain't sh*t until cheddars involved
I get that I gotta prove myself
No sh*t you ain't done sh*t
Think about that though
Only doing this a couple of years
One tape and I'm like this
This sh*t is aight for your first sh*t
But you don't know if it's your worst sh*t
You don't think finding out would be worth it
It might be it might not
But I'mma put your a** to work kid
Wait like like I have the job like really
Well one more thing let me see if you could put a hook together
What would you do for the hook for this song
You want me to make a hook up right now
Do I look like the type of ni**a that like repeating himself
Alright uh okay
Man do the hook
I'm about to be professional
Homie I'm professional
Uh maybe like a low voice type thing
Ni**a that sh*t is garbage man
Well you know I feel like there might have been some upside to it
But I'm not good at thinking of things on the spot like that
Don't y'all normally like outsource for that kind of thing sometimes
Sometimes but you know that was some next level Dogg sh*t right there
Yeah you know I'm just way better when I get to think things through
Have my like that dual screen action that type of thing
Whatever man you trying to smoke a blunt
Right now
Yeah
Sure
D**e Juanita bring some w**d in here please thank you
You got it Snoop I'll be right there
Thanks Juanita super nice woman
Ni**a why does everything you say sound so soft
Uh I really don't wanna be spoken to like that so
Whatever thanks
Hey I got y'all y'all w**d
Damn that's some great looking w**d it's just so early
Can I get you guys anything else while I'm here coffee tea head bottled water
D did you just say head
Yeah you ain't never got no head before
I mean just feels like a lot right now
OK
But what kind of tea do you guys have
We got mint raspberry earl grey English breakfast
Actually I'll take head
I knew your little dirty a** wanted some head